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`11:16 AM
I've been reframing from blogging past few days cause i know if i pour out its not going to make people happy when they read and it my worsen things. Anyway, i've been trying to stay happy recently, not working, like last night, i tried to be happy but when i wake up, the hurt just comes back 10 times as hard. People keep telling me give her some time bla bla bla, BUT have you ever though about me, When you want to break, did you thnk about me anot. Now? Do you have any idea what i'm going through just to pass the day. Hours is like days, Days is like months. How much it hurts to sleep alone and to wake up alone. No1 is there to cheer you up when your down. I can tell you, i've been pouring out whats been happening and wat happened untill people bwg. After all we done and gone trhough you just want to throw it away... You know the real reason is a misunderstand, if you ask i can explain. You know if it will work if you don't give me a second chance, i can tell you it will be diffrent. If the second chance doesn't work out, i won't disturb you anymore. Just act as your my friend. Remeber the first thing you told me? " I may not be the first and I hope i'm the last" I want to fufil this promise for you but you don't give me the chance. Theres alot i can do that i've haven't done yet. All i'm asking for is a second chance. How can you bear to see me like this. I know i can't bear to see you like this. You know that many times i nearly just fainted on the spot. After all that has been said and done you want to just throw it away. I promise this time will be diffrent, baby just give me a second chance... Saturday, October 24, 2009 `10:23 AM
Hmmm, going to wrtie a short sob story, if not intrested, wait till tonight for the intresting things =D Hahas werid eh, now my blog skin really shows how i'm feeling and how everything turned out in the end, don't feel like changing it now I'm trying to take my mind of tihngs, its my fault for trusting to easily and failing just like that, never thought we would end up like this, Now all i can do is to blame myself and to cry till i have no tears left, I'm trying to take my mind off things so i'm going to lan later. But hope got money hahas :P Hmmm time to go back to this two, just like when the last Major thing like this happeneded to me Life sucks, LOve hurts. Just beacuse i smile Doesnt mean i'm happy Because a single smile Can cover a million tears LOL emo kia is back =D Friday, October 23, 2009 `9:25 PM
Hmms i don't know what to blog, I'm trying to forget and let go now. So she can be happy but i think by wrting this things will make her sad or angry so i'm going to try to keep it her minimal. I only had one chance and its wasted. Hurt, sad dissapointed. All those promises is all broken, those sweet words became sweet nothings. I don't want to elaborate any furthur as i know its going to get worse. Just want you to know that i will keep on loving you, as a very close frend kay, cos theres we left off before 5months happened so don't think too much ^_^ Gona give you some time =D At first i thought it was a waste of time de cos i damn bored, wana just have some fun for once. Anyway to more fun and importnat things, Went to hte POA carnival, First part damn boring cos the games like so monotonous than the timing cock up, got 2 games but oni 40mins than the facil there blur, bad impression >_< the second game ok la, the mind your own businuess(MYOB) they teach us how to use, the teacher say very easy but she explain untill so cheem, not enough time also watsted time sia, delay break time. The break i finnaly ate after 3 days =D hahas alot ok? to me la =x Third game most fun run around and try to answer alot of POA thearoy questions, its fun kayz. In the end we never win any prizes but important is its fun and it got my mind off things awhile =D So now i'm going to back track one more day cos i never blog ytd. Ytd went to kent ridge, was hyper at first BUT the facils change all our minds, their timing suxs, their direction got problem, they execpt us to know things and they have got no initiavie, their attiude is like shit. But the walking gave me some time to think even though i had damn pain gastric from two days of not eating and sleeping. The walking and sweating cleared my mind =D Labador park was more fun than kent ridge and also they were much better organized, so, hahas. Yet again my group never win anything so yea sad-ed, went home and yea, thats all. Hahas i'm damn tired, emotionally, mentally, n physically, so come talk to me, i no mood to talk to you, too bored i guess? Wednesday, October 21, 2009 `7:11 PM
Alot has happened in the period of just one day. I'm so hurt, lost, empty, alot of things. If you want to know MSN me chowdonovan@hotmail.com I wish things can go back to the way they were but what i'm doing now is the ultimate scrafice, my happyness for hers. You got no idea what i have to endure so you can be happy, what i asked form you is not much but it lead to this. I'll try to my best to win you back no matter what! So i hope that it won't go to waste although all i have scarfaced and invested alot has gone to waste and it hurts so bad. As long as it makes her happy, i'll just to live with it. It hurts like living hell so really hope it won't go to waste. Please be happy and i'll support you like a di shuold (=^_^=) Heh i don't even know what else i want to type but i have plenty more to say. But please don't fall for anyone else, i love you alot and can't bear to see it. Even if you do, please don't keep it form me. I sucks uhh, don't even get a last kiss or hug. Ahh now more intesting things? My results!! This is all I got today so yea. Bio - 5735/100 Phy - 37.5/80 Chem - 53/80 Hist - 31/50 SS - 22/50 Poa paper 1 - 27.5/40 Poa peper 2 - 40/60 Maths paper 1 - 17/60 ( late for shcool, only had 15 minutes =.= ) Maths paper 2 - 49/80 Tuesday, October 20, 2009 `10:24 PM
Haix, exams are over but i see all around me people have problems, why why? If its not with them n their firends, its me and them or its just something is wrong that they don't want to say. Why is it before exams all was fine and after exams all the problems starts coming in. werid eh? shuold be other way around. I really wish everyone will be better soon and everything will be back to normal. Espcially her... I will pray for all of you i really want everything be back to normal soon, Your problems effects everybody and the effect on me is make me emo and heart broken. If you guys want to please tell me, i'll give you my ears to listen and shoulders to cry on. Just want you guys to know i care for you all and its not cos i need to, its cause i want to. You are all important to me. Eepcially you! you know who you are. Your a friends and thats what i should do Anw today got to post, scroll down. `8:40 PM
Morning woke up, go collect passport. I got the new duno what type =D but my pic inside suxs sia D: Anyway, than rush down to school and give Shahid back his PSP charger than went to CCAB. Over there was exectly the same as last year's one sia. Didn't manage to meet any new friends or old friends there so went home dissapointly. I went to junction 8 walk walk and eat since there got 156 since i was lazy to take from bukit timah all the way back to compass. the S11 chicken rice not bad sia, students get more soup and can add rice for free =D so i went home take cicrle line than now i'm here blogging =D Monday, October 19, 2009 `1:37 PM
Yesterday did nothing... god >< today also, Morning go buy MAC breakfast =D than now considering should go pei amelia anot. so bored at home... Sunday, October 18, 2009 `1:05 AM
Came back from lan, now very sleepy *yawn* waiting for her to come back and we can have time alone, hopfully =D Friday, October 16, 2009 `1:40 PM
OMG exam is finnally overr yea so happy can spend time with her and slack everyday ^^ OMG finnallyyyyyy Thursday, October 15, 2009 `3:33 PM
Yay tommorow last paper le POA than oral than exmas over whoooos ^_^ so happy than can spend time with her, i can slack hahas best is no need go school but i wan go school slack than after school feel lazyyy. Miss you... Wednesday, October 14, 2009 `7:20 PM
I know I've been selfish I know I've been foolish But look through that And you will see That I'll do better If you leave me tonight I'll wake up alone Don't tell me I will make it on my own Don't leave me tonight This heart of stone Will sink 'til it dies If you leave me tonight I took for granted What you do Don't you know My heart is pumping hope Don't you see I'm not the only one for you But you're the only one for me Never felt love like this Love you dearr <3 `6:52 PM
Haix, she's going back in november untill next year. Means i won't get to see her and i'll be alone again during the holidays... Such a dissappointment... Very sadd... She says still can chat on msn and yahoo but it won't be the same. Very sad and dissappointed. To less depressing matters, Today Physics exam easy than Bio also okok, the MCQ for Bio is harder than the Section B n C @_@ Phyics i never read instructions than Section C i go do all 3 questions, need do two only... Die la first question i don't know how do, only the last two. After exam go for oral practice, Went to Compass Point with brendon and jing wen, ate, I reshceduled my appointmet than in the end never do anything... Waste of time... I feel damn insecure, am i expecting too much? Tuesday, October 13, 2009 `9:57 PM
I'd do anything Just to hold you in my arms I'd do anything Just to fall asleep with you I'd do anything To fall asleep with you I'd do anything 'Cuz I know I won't forget you `2:27 PM
WTF i was like 1hr+ late got my maths exam than reach school aready they ask me go here and there waste so much time untill only 15mins left... Luckly manage to do half the paper but i only do those see the qns only know the answer so hopfully can pass. After that 11 take POA paper. Im soppose to be at ICA now but my father still sleeping.... Today's just not my day.... Hahas than i sleep from 3 untill around now 6:45? Don't think will be doing anything later, anyone wana chattt? D: Miss you dear... Monday, October 12, 2009 `8:16 PM
Stepping out of the bus, i saw you at the top, i know i could have waved bye but i didn't. I don't know why but doing so my heart ached. It hured so much to just let you go like that... Something is wrong with me, i feel like its not the same, like something is missing, werid eh? Have i done something wrong and its guilt or is there some one else? It hurt so much to feel this way, its like my heart is bleeding, something is off... Anyway to more intresting stuff. I took only 1hr 25mins to finish: - 2 Infernce + contextual knowledge -Diffrence and Similarity + tonn and purpose -Reliablity -Evlauative -2 essays In history :O Than after the test i went for a short maths remidial by OKW than i pei darling, meng jie jie and yu tong study while waiting for elliot. But in the end need to go off early so couldn't go for the POA consultation. Somehow in the end i took 62 and find brendon, jing wen and xueting untill 7 to teach jing wen physics. Mrt-ed back to compass and went to find somewhere to change my calculator battery. Now tomorrow i can do E.maths exam with no worry =D OMG i post twice in a row le :O `9:51 AM
Waiting for hist paper now... I noticed i changed alot recently, maybe its just a phase cause i don't know how to change back. Anyway i going to spam tys this week so wish me luck and wish me come back blogging Sunday, October 11, 2009 `11:26 PM
Want to wish everybody best of luck for the exams next week. Luck can only get you so far, remember to studyyyyyyyyy. Yeah i know i haven't been blogging for sometime untill nobody wants to read, my last post was last month o.o hahas so yea, good luck! |